Blow it to Grow it

So I blew on the fire. And by that mean I blew eastern comic. He’s lovely to give head too. Very appreciate and constantly making noises. I personally love that. I get off on the noises guys make when they don’t even know their saying anything. I love the power of giving pleasure and knowing I’m good at it. Nothing is hotter than hearing a guy say ” I’m gunna cum” and then him just releasing and throbbing and knowing that was me. Maybe I’m fucked, or maybe I really do get turned on by giving the right guy head.

Also note to dudes. DON’T EVER hold a girls head down on your dick. She’s taking it as deep as she can, also how shitty would you feel if she choked on your dick and died? Nobody likes to be doing something nice and be smothered by peen. Actually I bet some people are into that but never assume. You could kill, or just not be offered head again for awhile until you keep your hands to yourself unless instructed otherwise.

$200 and a Black and Blue Behind

*slap*
“Ouch daddy that hurts, please stop”
“This is what happens when you lie to mommy and get home late”
*slap*
This is a real encounter, not with my dad though. And I 100% agreed to go along with it. Sometimes my adventurous side takes me to places I’m not sure I’ve ever even fantasized about.

Around the time my little sister moved home for the summer, I started really living my Toronto life. I’m talking not saying no to anything and taking some serious risks.

We’ll jump right to who I’m now going to call Daddy J. We met on tinder. he was mid 20’s, successful, pretty normal looking. Wouldn’t stand out in a crowd. He opened with a story about him going for lunch with coworkers and a child getting a bare bum spanking right in the restraunt in front of people. I should have known then something was up. (And I don’t mean his penis at the thought of a spanking) so we started texting. He was a bit flirty, mentioned a few spankings now and then. We talked for a week or two, and eventually he asked me to hang out. But he asked if he could punish me. Like really spank me like a bad girl. I was scared, I’m always down to try something new, but he told me I would cry. I was super broke at the time, and I didn’t feel comfortable from the start, so I told him I’d let him spank me for $200. I know. Awful. So a Tuesday after work I went home and showered, he asked that I don’t wear a lot of makeup, he wanted me to look like his little girl. He also asked that I wear full bum panties. I picked my cutest and girliest pair. I honestly only have like 5 pairs as I never wear underwear. But anyways, I wore a cutesy dress as per request and I looked like a little girl. A fully developed one at that, but still I was working it. He called me an uber and I was on my way to his house. It was gorgeous! He has money, I forgot to mention. So he lives alone in a giant nice house. Bonus. So he gave me tour, poured me a gatoraid and grey goose, and himself a wine and I got a bit drunk. We made idle chit chat for while and then we went upstairs to his bedroom. The role playing had begun. I was in trouble because I lied to daddy and got home late. So he put me over one knee and proceeded to spank me. It hurt so bad. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but this was new. Eventually he pulled down my panties and bare bum spanked me while saying things like “you’ve been a bad girl”, “daddy has to teach you a lesson” and I would reply between spanks. Eventually he finished and I got dressed, he gave me my money and called me an über home. It hurt to sit down. My bum was black and blue for over a week. He asked for photos of it after. I sent them and he seemed pleased.
He’s a nice enough guy, but when a fetish is the only thing that gets you going that’s when it’s a bit much for me. We continued to talk for a while but I just don’t want to deal with hiding the bruises again, there’s a story to go with me trying to do that as well.

Even now I get a yucky feeling when someone calls me bad girl and spanks me. It’s just a bit much still. Its not the spanking I have issue with, as I would do that again for the right guy. Its the fact that he probably gets turned on when kids get spanked, and the idea of him having kids and punishing them one day. I was playing his disobedient daughter after all. He told me about his hardcore spankings growing up, so I think it’s got to do with that. But I did put the $200 to good use, and I got some drinks and a story. So it’s a win. I never do anything I don’t want to do, and I’m glad I say I’ve given that a go and it’s not really for me. At least not at this point in my life. Maybe I’ll give it a go in a few years. I am a bad girl after all.

4 years feels like a lifetime

I knew he was bad for me. He was going nowhere fast but I liked it. He is going somewhere eventually, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that he won’t be immensely successful , but come on, he’s 20. I knew how to drink and party when I was 20. I didn’t even know what I would do tomorrow. His causal drug use excites me, his smokers breath I find intoxicating. His beard and man pony are just the right amounts of scruffy. But most of all he was 20. The same age as my little sister, and by the time he ever wanted to settle down i’d be all dried up. I always said I would never bother with someone that I couldn’t see a future with. But with him all I could see was the present. It was exciting. So with him I broke all my rules and dove right in, he was skilled for being only 20, but I had a feeling that he’s been around the block a time or two, and he was majorly packing heat, to the point that it hurt me, in a good way of course. We didn’t do real dates, just hang outs. Like when your in high school and broke but you wanna hook up and hang out. So that’s precisely what we did. We had amazing talks in person and over text message and FaceTime, he was intelligent far beyond his years. But I just don’t know if I can get over his years. When I was 20 I wasn’t the same person I am today. I guess we’ll see if he changes with me or away from me.

The two date curse

I think I’m cursed. I haven’t made it past 2 dates with anyone in the city yet. After two dates they ghost. It killed me the first time, because he was my first real date in the city. He was successful, funny, and had an amazing apartment. I just don’t understand why people even bother asking on a 2nd date if your not feeling it? Shouldn’t you know after the first? Don’t you dare give me false hope. It’s not like I’m looking to get married, but is it so much to ask for someone to casually date, do fun things with and sleep with? Doesn’t have to be exclusive, as I like to keep my options open. But it wouldn’t hurt to have a someone to have a movie night with, who knows his way around my vagina and isn’t awe struck by the thought of me top less. It would just be a thing.
Apparently in the city this is impossible. As almost every guy I’ve dated had ghosted me after 2 dates. Now I may have slept with one or two too soon, and I see that now. I’ve put forth a 4 date rule before we go downtown, if you know what I mean. But one of them I only kissed! If anyone can shed some light on this please let me know. I’m slightly tired of being scared to sleep with someone because of the fear that they will never talk to me again, I like to go with the flow, if the feelings and passions there I do it. But now I’m scared, sex to me is still emotional, and I don’t want you on my list if I don’t have happy memories or at least an entertaining story about you. Sometimes I tell myself when it all goes wrong or just doesn’t go at all at least I have my stories. And I know I’ll write a book one day, until then I’ll keep you entertained.

The most dated undatable girl

I’ve never been in love the way one typically reads about in books, or watches in romantic comedies. I’ve liked being around people, liked to lay next to them. But I have a hunch that love is something more than just appreciating someone’s company. I’ve never felt that my life was improved by another’s presence. Other than my friends and family. But never a male. I don’t know what it’s like to feel more complete sharing your life with someone else, feeling elated at the things they enjoy, and aching with sadness when their in despair. Someday I’ll find someone to turn me, the undatable girl into someone that loves another human being with such passion and force it’s obvious to those in presence. But for now ill stay undatable, something always stopping me from getting to the next level with someone. Something I’ll chronicle in these stories, some from my past, further proving my undatableness, and some from the present and the near future. Time will tell if the city and the new me will finally crack the dating code, or if my living here will just bring more stories to tell at girls night over a few too many cocktails, laughing but always asking the question: what is it about me? What makes me so undatable? If you have an idea please let me know. I’ll be over here holding my breath.

Single in the City

Today will be the day that I finally do what I’ve been talking about for years. Log about my many adventures. Everything I post on here will be true, not all of it pretty. I promise to be funny, honest, sometimes sad and entertaining.
Here it goes. I moved from a small west coast town to Toronto this year. I’ve never been a relationship girl, but dating and being single here is like nothing I’ve ever imagined. I will post stories from the past, some years ago if needed, but I will always clarify. I won’t post any details so I can stay anonymous so I can be fully honest. Please enjoy my single life.